Now this is… awkward.
As part of the promotional campaign ahead of tomorrow’s Channel 4 special How Video Games Changed The World, Charlie Brooker visited the Channel 4 news studio to discuss games with Jon Snow.
Unfortunately, there is no human being in the world who knows less about video games than Jon Snow. And the results are… no, hilarious is not the word. Painful is probably the word.
The video can be seen below but here are a few transcribed snippets to get the juices flowing:
JS: Charlie, you’re speaking to someone who has literally never, ever played a video game.
CB: I don’t believe you.
JS: Definitely not.
JS: What does [Twitter] have in common with this, the new PS4?
CB: What does it have in common with THIS?!
CB: What Twitter? Well, errr…
JS: In terms of discussing a social network, people could meet as a result of [playing Call of Duty]? They’ve played together on the game and they could meet up in a pub or they could get married or?
CB: … I doubt they’d get married. They’d definitely… I mean, yes, people could meet up. People will form friendships and bonds.
JS: Of course you know why they wouldn’t get married? Because most of them would be… there would probably be no women.
CB: Well, you say that but that’s simply untrue.
At this point the game is changed from Call of Duty to LEGO Marvel Super Heroes, complete with comedy “how the hell do you change the disc in a PS4?” scene…
JS: There it is, Marvel. LEGO Marvel. It looks atrocious.
CB: It probably is. This is for kids though.
JS: Is it? What is a kid?
CB: Erm, what is a kid?
JS: This looks deeply unattractive, between you and me.
CB: Well, not if you’re into superheroes and LEGO. Are you into superheroes and LEGO?
JS: No, I’m most certainty not. I mean, I would be into LEGO.
CB: Don’t be so snooty! What’s wrong with it?
JS: I’m not snooty. I like practical LEGO, I mean the real thing but I don’t want to see it on video, I want to play with it.
JS: It’s very fast isn’t it?
CB: This is just a cutscene
JS: Good god! Look at this thing!
JS: Do you think the Department of Defence gets ideas about how to run their aircraft off this?
CB: Errr… no I don’t.
JS: Did I do that? Oh heavens!
CB: No, you didn’t. No no, you’re still just watching. This is the thing, because you haven’t, you’ve not experienced the language of gaming.
JS: But I was told we were watching this because it’s not at all nasty. Y’know, it’s sort of kids stuff.
JS: But it isn’t, it’s violent and horrid.
CB: What’s violent about that?
JS: I’ve just seen somebody blown to pieces.
CB: You haven’t seen somebody blown to pieces!
JS: I did.
JS: In outer space
CB: What is your obsession about the violence in these games? These are pieces of LEGO!
JS: Something terrible’s going to happen here.
CB: I’m sorry to break it to you but these are not real people. These are not real human beings.
JS: And you think a child doesn’t think these are real people?
CG: I think a child thinks these are pieces of LEGO.
JS: Heavens, I just got a shudder through this [cpntroller]. This has just given me a shudder.
CB: Yes, it’s got vibration built into it so you can get force feedback, it helps with the suspension of disbelief.
JS: It’s shocking.
CB: I mean isn’t that exciting in itself?
JS: It’s a bit worrisome, I have to say.
How Video Games Changed The World will be showed on Channel 4 tomorrow night (November 30th) at 9pm.