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anne diamond, daily mailTV ‘legend’ slams games in Daily Mail

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Middle market paper pulls in Anne Diamond (of Anne & Nick fame) for ‘expert’ verdict

You’re a national newspaper editor. You need a serious think piece in the wake of the Byron Review’s largely sensible recommendations, but no-one in the office quite cuts the mustard.

Who you gonna call...? That’s right. Anne Diamond.

In perhaps the finest piece of national games-focused journalism of the year, The Daily Mail has roped in mumsy former TV presenter and student heroine Diamond to give her ‘chilling verdict’ on some of our industry’s greatest recent products.

You must recognise her. From Anne and Nick. About 15 years ago.

And the paper isn’t lying. Her startlingly insightful analysis is truly ‘chilling’. Indeed, it’s so upsetting, commentators have already suggested Diamond may need her very own Dr. Byron-approved age classification system.

Building on her impeccable credentials as a parent (she’s reproduced four times, you know), Anne’s outrage is palpable throughout – encouraging Middle England’s sprog-bearers to cough up their kippers and Earl Grey at how parents JUST LIKE THEM are allowing their offspring to be corrupted by this “mindless garbage”.

Anne says that the games she saw made her “hair stand on end”. A terrifying thought. What must Nick have made of it all?

Here, we present her revolutionary findings. She's some games journalist. Watch out N'Gai Croal.

However, we must caution you: some of this material may be unsuitable for those with a reasonable view of the world:

Trolltech


Halo 3 (Microsoft)
‘My younger sons say all of their age group (12 and 14) play this game, and their parents allow that. This is the ‘in’ game among teenagers, and it came with my son’s Xbox 360 – so it landed in our house at Christmas…. It is violent, but there’s hardly any blood and not too much bad language and my sons reckon it’s relatively non-threatening.’

Dead Or Alive 4 (Microsoft)
‘The girl characters are overtly sexy, half-naked, with gravity-defying breasts and unbelievably long legs. The men are Ninja-style hefty, muscly warriors – so this is all about machismo and bravado. I watched and played this one and thought it was pretty mindless and stupid.”

Resident Evil 4 (Capcom)
‘This game shouldn’t be allowed to be sold, even to adults. It wallows in violence for violence sake… You witness truly ghastly scenes of torture and death. When I played, I was stabbed to death with pitchforks amid fountains of my own blood. This kind of violence can only be bad for you.’

Scarface: The World Is Yours (Sierra)
‘This is set in a land of mafia violence. The language is the most shocking aspect. The violence seems hackneyed in comparison with more modern games. But it’s disturbing that so many teenagers presumably have access to this mindless garbage over and over again.’

1
 

“Genius!”
Posted by: Tommy boy - Mar 28, 11:34am

Get this woman a job at Edge rapido! The most honest reviewer I've read in years.

Sadly, The Mail has obviously restricted her. I reckon I know what she's REALLY getting at.

Halo 3 (Microsoft)
‘I let my 12-14 year old kids play this. And I’m Anne Diamond. I write for The Daily Mail. I USED TO BE ON THE BBC, for Christ’s sake. So it must be okay. My sons tell me it’s non-threatening, which must be true, because they were born with my genes.’

Dead Or Alive 4 (Microsoft)
‘T*ts and ass, t*ts and ass, t*ts and ass, t*ts and ass, t*ts and ass. Tut tut. Freud!’

Resident Evil 4 (Capcom)
‘I wasn’t very good at this game. I even got killed by the pitchforks – which is pretty much the most rubbish way you can go.’

Scarface: The World Is Yours (Sierra)
‘For ****’s sake. Lazy and derivative. 40%.’


2
 

“If only.....”
Posted by: Pantythief - Mar 28, 11:36am

On her comments about Resident Evil 4:

If only she REALLY had been stabbed to death with pitchforks amid fountains of her own blood....

Sorry, I dont want to come across like the mindless gamer she describes but this is ridiculous.


3
 

“Re: If only.....”
Posted by: scottmpamp - Mar 28, 11:46am

Tim - nice write up. I can sense your anger and frustration at this women's idiocy.

This is as good as the Fox News report on Mass Effect on the sex-box.


4
 

“Re: If only.....”
Posted by: Hark - Mar 28, 11:56am

Excellent article! Well on MCV part anyway. If only she played Killer 7 and I wonder if shes seen the Resi 5 trailer yet?

btw off topic but has anyone watched that "Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo"? Now thats disturbing, I got freaked out watchin it sober! And its bloody shown on Jetix (u know the sky kids channel)!

Hark


5
 

“Re: If only.....”
Posted by: scottmpamp - Mar 28, 12:19pm

The picture looks like she's holidng up heroin needles recovered from a boys school locker.

I also love the fact that she thinks people actually played "Clive Barker's Jericho".


6
 

“Re: If only.....”
Posted by: Tamtam - Mar 28, 12:23pm

Still would, though. Am I right? Am I right?


7
 

“Re: If only.....”
Posted: Mar 28, 12:30pm

Normally MCV plays it pretty straightm but Tim has gone off the sarco-meter today. Love it!


8
 

“Re: If only.....”
Posted by: Hark - Mar 28, 12:40pm

@ 6

OMG!.....maybe for 50 quid

Hark


9
 

“Re: If only.....”
Posted: Mar 28, 12:56pm

This woman, whoever she is, has only drawn a select line of games and not the a broad selection with one from every genre, which i can perfectly understand may be beyond who limited scope of a very broad and versatile world.

I may not play some games myself, but you cannot judge all games by the worse, nor the best.

The two things that really annoy me firstly is the suggestion of not selling a game to an adult. OK?
Secondly, the point of a fighting game is to KO (that means Knock Out for the so called 'reviewer') the other character. I believe in history it was done alot as well, so it can be seen as a history lesson if you want to look at the other end of the spectrum.


10
 

“Re: If only.....”
Posted by: Pantythief - Mar 28, 1:41pm

@ Tamtam

No, you're very wrong.

I can kinda see where people were coming from with Tanya Byron but this bird is wrong.


11
 

“Re: If only.....”
Posted by: byronicman - Mar 28, 1:42pm

Can't be bothered to read her text. Can someone just tell me what scores she gave them?


12
 

“Family Settings Anne use them!”
Posted by: Dan - Mar 28, 1:42pm

Makes me mad storys like this!

The Mail is still in the dark age...

Lets all blame the games Anne.

Not the Mum and Dads that dont take care and read for 5 mins and turn on Xbox Family Settings!!!

Or like ive said b4 buy the game then moan after!

Does life depict art or art depict life???? I think we all know if we have any brain....

You cant blame kids or games makers. Only the parent guardians.

Stop say yes yes yes to stop them moaning and talk and care for them!

Rant Over!


13
 

“Coming from the fat cheater!”
Posted by: Dan - Mar 28, 1:46pm

Lets not forget she cheated and lied about losing weight on FAT CLUB years back!

I dont think games lie or cheat!!!

People in glass houses Anne...

I feel so much better now!


14
 

“Re: Family Settings Anne use them!”
Posted by: Dom - Mar 28, 1:48pm

That gave me a damn good laugh, as did all the comments.
It's so utterly absurd that I think it's more helpful to the games industry than damaging.


15
 

“Re: Coming from the fat cheater!”
Posted by: McGoff - Mar 28, 2:01pm

Give this woman a copy of Manhunt and hope she needs rehab afterwards.

She has about as much relevant input into games journalism as a bee does running for congress.

I'm sorry your career is over Anne, I saw you on TVAM or whatever it was called for years and actually felt a little sad when they cut you off because, as with everything else in this country that's being pulled down and cut up in the name of PC, you were an institution.

However, just because you are a mother with concerns about her children, do NOT jump on the proverbial bandwagon of damning video games when you have NO clue about the industry and what it does. You are under the same misplaced dellusion that all these other idiots are (and when I say idiots, I mean Jack Thompson). The REAL issue ONCE AGAIN, is the retailers and parents. NOT the ratings, NOT the developers and NOT the kids. STOP FLOGGING THIS DEAD DEAD DEAD FRIKKIN' HORSE!!!


16
 

“Re: Coming from the fat cheater!”
Posted by: scowley - Mar 28, 2:24pm

Who took that saw to her copies of Call of Duty 4, Jericho and Dead Rising?


17
 

“Re: Coming from the fat cheater!”
Posted by: Hark - Mar 28, 2:37pm

@16! well spotted I didnt see that before.

Any predictions on what that copy is behind resi 4?

I think its "The Drakness".

100 points to person who can guess it right!

Hark


18
 

“Re: Coming from the fat cheater!”
Posted by: scowley - Mar 28, 2:41pm

looks like halo 3 to me!


19
 

“Re: Coming from the fat cheater!”
Posted: Mar 28, 3:03pm

It pisses me off so much when people use the "I'm a mother" or "I'm a parent" thing to justify ill-informed, right wing pompous self-important claptrap. I'm a dad. Being so does not make me intellectually vacuous. Fortunately it doesn't make me read the Daily Mail either. And no TamTam, I wouldn't. Not even with yours. But I'd be all over Byron in a shot. Or should that be that I'd shoot all over Byron? Either way...


20
 

“Re: Coming from the fat cheater!”
Posted by: Pantythief - Mar 28, 3:10pm

Can someone explain how the image of her right shoulder is in front of the games?

Surely if that was a real photo then then its technically impossible for the image of her right shoulder to exist?

Have these games been super-imposed?

What kind of witchcraft has MCV brought before thy eyes?

Is this some sort of April fools joke?

....I think the hidden game is Two Worlds on 360.


21
 

“Re: Coming from the fat cheater!”
Posted by: the_importer - Mar 28, 3:20pm

I'm not a big fan of Resident evil myself because of the crappy story line, but as far as your opinion on it, you failed.

There's room for everything in the media, including gore and torture. Seen a slasher film lately, the Saw franshise perhaps? How about my buddies Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger or Michael Myers? These 3 have been around a lot longer than the Resident Evil games, hell that gaming franshise was inspired by George A. Romero's zombie movies but I don't see you going after them, I wonder why?

Oh I know, because they are part of the TV and movie media and that it would be like going after your own peers and not after another media for which you have no interest and would prefer that others would hate as well in order to focus their attention on backwash celebrities like you.

Again, you failed


22
 

“Re: Coming from the fat cheater!”
Posted by: Rikki - Mar 28, 3:51pm

She complains about the game that came with her son's Xbox 360. Who bought it for her son? Did she not think to vet the games that came with it? You can get other games for it, and you can buy the console on its own...


23
 

“Re: Coming from the fat cheater!”
Posted by: scowley - Mar 28, 3:54pm

I think she ate parts of those game boxes


24
 

“Re: Coming from the fat cheater!”
Posted: Mar 28, 4:02pm

She's a noob.


25
 

“Wouldnt”
Posted by: Patrick Moore - Mar 28, 5:31pm

Would rather do Dominik Diamond.


With yours.


26
 

“Re: Wouldnt”
Posted by: scowley - Mar 28, 5:34pm

Clearly the verdict was so chilling that whoever was photoshopping the picture, totally forgot what they were doing


27
 

“Re: Wouldnt”
Posted by: scottmpamp - Mar 28, 5:57pm

haha - they do look photo shopped.

I think in the original photo she was showing off her big fat blunt that she had just rolled. I think she then smoked it and wrote this fine piece of games journalism - and then got the munchies and ate the top half of the games.

The 4th one is "The Darkness" I agree - the age rating looks 18, and I dont think Halo 3 was 18 rated so cant be that.

At least she didnt rave on about the so called "explicit" sex scenes in Mass Effect - maybe she would enjoy games more if such games did in fact have such scenes. Dirty girl.


28
 

“Re: Wouldnt”
Posted by: Roy - Mar 28, 6:18pm

I think we've got to the root of the problem, they asked for an industry expert and got Anne Diamond instead of Dominic Diamond...

Where's Patrick Moore when you need him? He'd have at least been able to have given her some tips.


29
 

“Re: Wouldnt”
Posted by: Scrubelicious - Mar 28, 8:01pm

Really, damn I think I am going to buy Resident Evil 4 now!
But Scarface is garbage.

LOL


30
 

“Re: Wouldnt”
Posted by: Patrick Moore - Mar 28, 8:54pm

Yeah Anne would have appeared first in the telephone directory before Dominik, probably felt it didnt really matter for those "silly games people" anyway


31
 

“Re: Wouldnt”
Posted by: TORC - Mar 28, 9:16pm

And she cheated on her husband!And shes really a man!And I would have when she was younger(when she wasnt a man)


32
 

“Re: Wouldnt”
Posted by: Willypiggy - Mar 28, 10:40pm

I LOVE resident evil, this woman has really pissed me off, how is resident evil different from 28 Days Later? Oh wait, it ****ing isn't. The only difference is that Resident Evil doesn't have a crappy spin off. (Talking about a direct sequel, not seqiad, pequialed gaidens.) Anyway, if she is going to insult resident evil like that (especialey the gory deaths which are a staple of the horror genre) then she is insulting every horror film/game/image ever made.


33
 

“Have”
Posted by: Bruceongames - Mar 29, 8:50am

The thing is that the Byron report says the opposite of what the Mail has been saying for years. So this is just them hitting out in impotent fury at being proved to be completely wrong.
Presenting lies like this in a newspaper is far more dangerous for our children than video games.


34
 

“Re: Have”
Posted by: Bruceongames - Mar 29, 9:42am

Daily Mail headline generator:

http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/dailymail/


35
 

“Take the time to consider.”
Posted by: Thinker - Mar 29, 9:50am

All these Anne Diamonds of the world think they're doing a real justice, but all they're doing is pointing your fingers in all the wrong directions instead of taking a look in-ward, and people buy it up like gospel because it makes them feel right instead of working on their very own problems. It's so easy to blame entertainment instead of facing up to the fact that most parents fail to show their children the compassion they need, truly putting their children ahead of themselves, teaching children tolerance for others instead of pointing the blame elsewhere.

Or how about the fact these that these insightful video games are mirrored after the the countless atrocities our very own government commits in the name of the all mighty dollar, and these are the values our children learn because they're just as much a part of that system in which they live under no matter where you live in this world? But no lets point the blame at entertainment so none of the real issues get solved, and live in a state of ignorance. We're doing a real justice for all.


36
 

“Re: Have”
Posted by: Bruceongames - Mar 29, 10:01am

You can write to Anne from her website (you need to register first:
http://fathappens.com/


37
 

“As bad as drugs”
Posted by: Ant - Mar 29, 10:22am

This is coming from the same newspaper that talks about the evils of cannabis every chance it gets and yet consistantly glorifies and glamourises the use of cocaine?

You know a lot of these games are filled with dangerous themes like fighting for freedom, or bravery in the face of overwhelming adversity.

Kids should never be exposed to such influences. Certainly not the kids of poor people. They might just start a damned revolution!!!


38
 

“Re: As bad as drugs”
Posted by: Batch - Mar 29, 6:21pm

I thought that heavy metal music was the root of everything wrong in the world. But thanks to Diamond and the Daily Mail I now know it's computer games.

Thanks Daily Mail. Keep up the good work. No, really.


39
 

“Re: As bad as drugs”
Posted by: Phil Da Greek - Mar 30, 5:43pm

So the Daily (I don't care what it is but I'm against it!) Mail has found a reactionary, illiberal, half-arsed wolf in sheeps clothing professional house wife to provide an opinion on something she know nothing about - for a fee. Hardly surprising is it? Anyone who allows their poor kids brains to be addled and their upbringing to be tarnished by this excuse for a newspaper probably shouldn't qualify as a parent. I'm away to call the social services. Yours, Mr Angry of the East Mids.


40

“Re: As bad as drugs”
Posted by: bluejonny - Mar 31, 12:17pm

Anne Continues: "Jet Set Willy - The most vile and distasteful game to ever grace computers, I was shocked at the large foot stomping on the poor man when you lost, showing blood and guts bursting from underneath and how dare they stereotype middle-class, lesbian militants by picturing them with a rolling pin. Or is that a nail festooned baseball bat? I have played it and it should be banned now"


41
 

“From the forums”
Posted by: Bruceongames - Mar 31, 1:36pm

Definition of Irony: Woman posing in photo with a stack of games with BBFC ratings on the boxes, ranting about how they're violent should have age ratings and shouldn't be played by kids.


42
 

“Re: From the forums”
Posted by: Andrew R - Mar 31, 3:42pm

Anne Diamond's son, then 17, once worked at the Edinburgh Film Festival as a runner, and as all runner do, got utterly legless in the evening.

So, before she joins the racist waste of paper that is the Daily Mail (the same newspaper who claimed the nazis were good in the run up to WWII) maybe she should get it sorted.


43
 

“Re: From the forums”
Posted by: Woody - Apr 1, 2:22pm

Wasn't she 2/3 of tv duo 'Anne and Nick'??


44
 

“Wait until she discovers Rockstar's next release.”
Posted by: Someoneintheindustry - Apr 2, 8:31pm

Cot Death Tetris - Top of the pre-order charts.


45
 

“The mystery of the box”
Posted by: Nathan - Apr 4, 8:51pm

Nah, that's a BBFC 15 on the box behind Resi. And I KNOW the Halo 3 bocx too damn well, so that is it. Oh, and I wonder if she even PLAYED any of them, or just watched five minutes of them on the internet.
*cough* Fox *cough*


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