Let's get this straight before we even get to the details – this is definitely Microsoft's fault. Not the kid's for spending all the money. Not the mum's for letting her child have access to her bank card. Dispel thoughts of bad parenting. Ignore the incorrect aspect ratio of the Xbox 360 in the picture above.
Close your eyes, breathe deeply and become one with the Mail Online.
The UK's moral bastion The Daily Mail has harrowing news of Brendan Jordan who is the latest victim of money-grabbing Micro$oft following its ploy to rob him and his mother of over £1,000.
£1,082.52, in fact. That's how much young Brendan Jordan spunked on his mum's bank card after she input the details onto his Xbox 360.
"When I put my card details in 18 months ago I thought it was just for his membership to play online with his friends," traumatised and impoverished Dawn Matthews – mother, sales executive and part-time singer – told the paper.
"I work two jobs just to look after my family and pay the bills so I cannot afford all these extortionate charges."
Which is perhaps why she never has time to check her bank statements.
"A thousand pounds isn't that much to people like Bill Gates, but for a single mum it is a lot of money that I don't have," she added, fighting back the tears and trying to cover the mental scars of corporate abuse.
"The bank and Microsoft are blaming each other and no one is helping me. It has taken me ages to permanently get rid of my card details from the website. It was only when I made a complaint that they took all my details off."
Microsoft responded by saying that parental control functions are present on the console to prevent kids doing exactly this. But did Steve Ballmer come round himself and show Dawn how to do it personally?
Did he ****!
"Brendan is 11 and knows his times tables but it was only when I explained to him that he realised how much money he had spent," Dawn added. "When I showed him he burst into tears. He unplugged the Xbox and said he didn't want it anymore.
"I haven't punished him because he feels bad enough and I know he won't do it again. It is ridiculous to allow someone of his age to make payments without any checks being done. When he is in gaming mode he can't be thinking about the money. You can't put all that responsibility on a young boy.
"It is impossible to monitor everything your children do. These companies should take some responsibility. They take advantage of vulnerable people."
That's right. When Brendan is in gaming mode it's utterly unreasonable that he should be expected to think cognitively. That's totally fair. At least selling the Xbox 360 on eBay will go some way to recouping the £1,000.