"Did you hear that?" news anchor Brigida Mack is heard to say having just witnessed the shocking moment that one leading video game chose to launch a scathing attack on the world's adopted children.
Be warned though – considering this statement without putting it into any sense of perspective can result in savage idiocy and unbridled ignorance.
The game in question is Portal 2. North Carolina news station WBTV has cottoned onto the fact that in one scene the iconic replacement core Wheatley, voiced by our very own Stephen Merchant, mocks a character believed to be an orphan.
He also tries to kill them. Repeatedly. But Americans don't find that offensive.
"A father is shocked at the insensitivity of a new game," the TV spot begins. So shocked, in fact, that the man in question – Neil Stapel – claims that "I don't know what to do. I still don't know what to do.
"It literally pokes fun for not having parents. It throws the most ultimate question that child is ever going to have for you right into the living room."
How about getting off your moral high horse and accepting that sometimes humour is allowed to be a little risque?
For God's sake make sure there are no copies of Jane Eyre or Harry Potter (or David Copperfield. Or Anne of Green Gables. Or Wuthering Heights. Or Great Expectations) in the house.
"The character in the popular kids' video game is actually taunted for being adopted," Mack adds in horror. It's all the worse, of course, "as this is a game that bills itself as educational". Does it? Really?
Does anyone know if Frankie Boyle is popular in the US?