If you or your news outfit would like a Desura download key or a direct download link, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Both are available in the next three weeks before the game's release.
ApathyWorks’ Cute Things Dying Violently, the smash hit of last August’s Xbox Live Indie Games Summer Uprising, is finally making its way to Windows PC on July 17, via Desura, IndieCity, and Indievania. And how much will it cost? $2.99!
Be warned: this stands alone with Grover Cleveland’s inaugural address in terms of sheer historical impact.
What is CTDV? Well, it's a game about Critters. And the Critters need your help! You flick the foul-mouthed little bastards around each level to get them safely to the elevator. Between the Critters and their salvation lie puzzles and a ton of murderous objects such as spikes, buzzsaws, fire, and a homicidal, bucket-headed robot. It's up to you to save these Cute Things and prevent them from Dying Violently.
In addition to a singleplayer campaign of 60 mind-bending, reflex-testing levels, there’s also 6 unlockable challenge levels, 24 Achievements, and a built-in Level Editor that players can use to create and play their own (inferior) levels.
FAQ of Qs you didn’t A:
· 25,000 copies sold/100,000 downloads on XBLIG (Next stop, Newt Gingrich’s moon base!)
· Porting to Linux, Mac, iOS, and Android
· Free updates, including new ingame objects and a planned Level Sharing Hub
· The Xbox version will get all this new content for free as well in the near future
· Link to Xbox version (old art, boooooo, hissssssssss)
Take Cute Things Dying Violently for relief from aches and pains.
Side effects include aches and pains, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, or all five simultaneously. Further side effects may include cold sores, hot sores, lukewarm sores, itchy feet, smelly feet, missing feet, rashes, crashes, sashes, birthday bashes, chest hair (on women), Super Chest Hair (on men), inexplicably absent chest hair (on Portuguese people), paranoia, trustworthiness, exuberance, depression, Tri-Polar Disorder, or a terrible case of the Mondays. Please be on the lookout for Helicopter Tongue, Hover Nipples, Bone-itis, Thunderbutt, Genital Inversion, purple urine, stigmata, and what our lawyers have referred to as “a profoundly alarming state of incessant mooing.” Immediately discontinue use if you experience sexual attraction to wall sockets or oncoming traffic, a falling sensation, a lack of falling sensation while you are actually falling, spontaneous verbal outbursts against particularly smug-looking potted plants, or a sensation of wearing an “electric diaper.” If you experience an erection lasting six or more hours, call in sick and just, y’know, have fun. If you experience an erection lasting six or more hours and you are a woman, please sign our attached waiver and call our 24 hour Penis Removal/Donation Hotline.