30 May 2012 - Secret Lab - Wolverhampton - United Kingdom
Distorted Poetry Limited, operating out of paradise that is the English midlands, today announced they have successfully removed that final extraneous D from arcade games.
While the move from 3D to 2D was relatively painless and involved nothing more than a trip down memory lane removing that final extra D proved to be more difficult than expected and has taken countless resources to finalise.
A lab coat wearing bespectacled Stephen Parkes (Director and Co-Founder of Distorted Poetry) had this to say about the process.
"2D or not 2D it's something we struggled with in the early days but once we cracked that final bond and 1D gaming was reborn we knew we just had to revive a legendary game genre"
That genre is none other than the multi-sports game beloved of litigious licence holders and partially revived quadrennially in it's current pitiful 3D state.
"We remembered the days of 2D multi-sport titles stored on something called cassette tapes or available for hire at 10p a go in what historians call 'Arcades' and wanted to do something like that but the current vogue for an extra D kept getting in the way of gameplay, so we got rid of it"
If this had been the end of the story this press release would be much shorter.
"Then some bright spark (editor: The aforementioned git Mr S.Parkes) decided to get rid of the other D and kept us locked in the labs until the final bonds where broken. That was 6 months ago we've eaten nothing but biscuits and baked beans since." said a code monkey, yesterday.
Now sporting 10 events rendered in glorious 1D where up to three players can represent a team of their choosing (as long as it's a unique one from Red, Green, or Blue) 1D Sports will be available in July 2012 on iOS, Android, PC and Mac shortly before a quadrennium event opens that we are in no part associated with and anyway you couldn't render the logo in 1D even if you tried (we didn't).
About Distorted Poetry Limited.
Distorted Poetry Limited was formed in late 2010 and incorporated in early 2011 with the aim of making great little games for great little devices. The only thing that has changed from those early days is they don't care about the size of the device or the game just greatness. Their website is becoming folk law and the delay in it's launch is now measured by revolutions of the earth around the sun (coming soon!) but they can be found at facebook.com/DistortedPoetry and @DistortedPoetry in social media land.
About Stephen Parkes
Stephen is a programmer who due to his particular strain of Aspergers Syndrome always found it difficult to work for large organisations or freelance so he took the leap to full time indie-hood with co-founder James and refuses to look back. Since first getting his hands on a ZX Spectrum in the 80's he's made games and some of them were alright. Stephen can be found online as @steve_parkes and http://www.linkedin.com/in/stephenparkes Stephen doesn't do phones but welcomes electronic communication.