91 hours. That's how far 2012 was able to progress before The Daily Mail got the ball rolling on this year's tabloid tirade on video games.
And what a way to kick off the action.
Hit Star Wars game lets players 'own' and torment female slaves with electric shock collar” is the headline that gets the juices flowing.
Scripted lines such as 'Obey my every command'” it adds. Can force her to watch your character have sex”.
BAN THIS SICK FILTH.
And in case there was any doubt about the legitimacy of the reports, the Mail cuts right to the chase in its opening sentence. Not only are gamers playing the hit online game Star Wars: the Old Republic torturing and abusing a female 'slave' character with punches and an 'electric shock collar'” but the paper is confident enough to add a suffix – and enjoying it”.
It goes on to add that the game has dialogue written specifically FOR players who choose to treat their companion like this”.
The Mail's extensive research PROVES that while those playing as a Sith have the option to treat their slave – named Vette – kindly, the option to treat the character decently does not seem to have been enormously popular with players”.
And who is rolled out to support this? None other than Kotaku's Mike Fahey, who dared to write about his experiences with a Sith slave on his site.
She comes complete with a convenient high voltage shock collar, allowing me to administer harsh punishment should she speak or act in a manner unbefitting her station,” he wrote.
I torture her. I tease her. I belittle her in front of others. On one occasion I even make her watch as I have sexual relations with the wife of a slain enemy.”
The Daily Mail adds that Star Wars is no stranger to slavery”, recalling Princess Leia's ultra-hot slave costume in Jabba's Palace. Aroused? Of course you are. But you shouldn't be.
The idea of playing master yourself is unsavoury”, the paper adds. Which is completely subjective, of course.
Watch out for tomorrow's copy of The Daily Mail which features a hard-hitting expose on kids relishing in the cruel treatment of house elves by the notorious Malfoy family.