You have to pay it because no-one else will pay it. You have to give me money that we do Postal 2.”
That's how director Uwe Boll is pitching his attempt to crowdfund $500,000 to make a Postal 2 movie.
His pitch video can be seen below, although here's a taster to whet the appetite:
In the last few years we've just had too much. Y'know, we have Osama Bin Laden but where is he? I mean, is there any photo of him if he's dead or whatever? What happened to building six in the World Trade Center attacks? We have to answer all these questions and that's why Postal 2 is the movie of the future. Postal 1 is still unreached by anything ever in film history. It is the best movie of all times as you know and I know and we have only one chance to do Postal 2. So just give me some money and we do it. Bye.”
There are probably other things we could write but frankly that feels a bit pointless. Although we do like this bit from the blurb:
Postal 2 will finally destroy the film industry and the world we are living in. We could name the movie also HONEY BOOBOO must die... but so many people deserve to die. Why starting with a child? Did Osama die? We know. And why the Navy Seals were too stupid to land a helicopter on a free field? Why did Building 6 collapse? We explain. Why is Obama is like Bush? We show you.”
There's also a section entitled Where the money goes” that states simply the money goes all for cocaine for the stars down the nose”.
Still not convinced to hand over the cash? Then ‘ave a bit of this: Everybody will hate you but the NRA will love you in being part of Postal 2. Our bodycount will be higher as Hiroshima and Dancing with the Stars combined.
And don't forget: September 11th didn't count because Mohammad Atta took the same steroids as Lance Armstrong. But he never lied about it.”
Right. Genuinely we have no idea if this is all humour” or just the insane ramblings of a madman?